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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?